


hate's one side of a coin

by Lovelylime



Series: neon genesis evangelion character pieces [1]
Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Gen, it mentions her "love" of kaji but the bastard isn't present, this is PLATONIC and deals with asuka's one-sided crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:35:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23763934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovelylime/pseuds/Lovelylime
Summary: Asuka hates Misato. Right?
Relationships: Katsuragi Misato & Souryuu Asuka Langley
Series: neon genesis evangelion character pieces [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1787668
Kudos: 22





	hate's one side of a coin

**Author's Note:**

> this is a lil thing i wrote after rewatching evangelion: death(true)squared and thinking about that scene in 2.0 where Asuka leaves Misato that voicemail. The relationship between the two of them is never really explored (neither are any of the female relationships, its the misogyny) but i think Misato tried to be a mother figure to her the way she tried to with Shinji, and i also think Asuka's a baby gay who can't connect with people. As i said in the tags this is absolutely platonic and one-sided bc im not a freak.

Cold stone under her legs. Cicadas screeching in her ear. Fucking cicadas. Eternal summer is bullshit. 

Asuka sits on the roof, staring over the edge where her feet kick above the empty space. She hates everyone. She hates Shinji, the worthless crybaby who somehow gets all the praise for the job he doesn’t want in the first place. She hates Rei, the perfect doll with no thoughts of her own. She hates the Commander and Vice Commander and Doctor Akagi, ruining her life with their tests that prove her a failure. And she hates Misato. Right? 

Of course she hates Misato. Asuka loves Kaji, and Kaji loves Misato, therefore Asuka hates Misato. That’s the logic of the world; you have to hate the others if you want to be the best. And Asuka _is_ the best, she _has to_ be the best. So she hates Misato, and she loves Kaji. 

Even if Misato’s the one trying to comfort her when she fucks up and has to be saved by the crybaby or the doll. If Misato’s the one lending her tampons and ibuprofen, and checking up on her injuries even after she’s out of the hospital. And Misato’s the one who looks like she’s actually listening when Asuka talks. 

But Kaji loves her, and Shinji’s her favourite, so really Asuka has to hate her. Asuka wants the attention, the approval of Kaji and NERV, so she hates the obstacles. Even if it's Misato’s praise that rings in her ears when she’s curled on the floor, trying to remember why she’s still alive. Even if- 

“If” nothing. Asuka’s the star of this ensemble, the pilot of the _true_ Evangelion. She’s the one who’s going to save the world and get the prince in the end. She wants the world to praise her, and she loves-

She loves Kaji. Even if sometimes she sees him with Misato and thinks maybe that flash of jealousy- 

She loves Kaji. And she hates Misato. 

(If nothing else she hates Misato for making her so confused.) 

Asuka hears footsteps coming up the stairs. The door to the rooftop opens. 

“Hey,” Misato says, “You feeling okay?” 

She’s the first person to bother checking up on Asuka. 

Asuka hates her.

**Author's Note:**

> i normally dont like drabbles but i wanted to write this so *shrugs* 
> 
> thanks for reading it i love you


End file.
